Friday, December 27, 2013

Surprises of great magnitude

[Dec. 26th, 2013] 

Ever since arriving at my mother's home, I've been continuously astonished by her and my dad's kindness. 

Each day I go about and doddle through trying to figure out what to do in this moment or the next, they patiently and lovingly support every effort I endeavor to tackle. As a matter of fact, my dad cooked dinner today and as I was walking outside down my stairs to their house, my mom was actually calling up to my house to invite me down. When I walked in, she was ringing me and leaving me a message while trying not to giggle. It was really funny, and timely. They were making sure I was fed, and not lonely since my darling boyfriend (who's been my dearest friend throughout all of my troubles, even in times of his own troubles) had left today for the city to do some things that are important to him and those he cares for (including me.)

It's very comforting to know that these strong, healthy-minded, whole-heartedly kind people truly love me and care for me so strongly that they can use their energy and resources to really support me right now. . . in so many ways.

I think that all people in need should be acknowledged, advocated (so they get proper and adequate help for their most necessary needs to be met fully,) and to be supported emotionally and admirably by those who care about them --- without harsh judgments or unkind treatment. Isn't this what all of us Americans consider "Human Rights?" I'm pretty sure by my mere four months of learning and level of competent understanding, that it surely is.

I had a really good day, despite my boyfriend (bf) having left today. My case-worker for my mental-health and general confidant for all of my physical health appointments came by, and even though she was supposed to spend only a certain amount of time with me today we spent about three hours talking about life, the importance of pursuing my goals (both basic and intricate) and to stay positive even though I get those gut-wrenching moments of panic, dismay, and utter distraught feelings when I suddenly feel lost, alone, and completely confused.

Those dramatically heavy feelings are seriously overwhelming when they happen. I say "happen," because it seems to sneak up on me and take over like an invasive sudden thunderstorm. It's like a horror movie, where everyone is in their cabin, safe and warm, and suddenly there's a serial killer lurking outside the window, surmising whose death will be first... it's creepy and it takes over the moment when it happens. It really bites! But, this is precisely why I've sought out professional mental-health help. If it weren't for my case-worker and the place she works for, I'd still be lost, constantly panicky, and always on edge. 

I'm currently, not constantly any of those things. Peace has found me, but those moments of terror still need worked on. (That's where I'm at, on the mental-health front.) For those who are suffering from mental-health issues as a result of the amnesia and all of the traumatic events that take place due to it (loss of identity, loss of perspective, etc) definitely needs looking into and dealt with in order to survive the emotional roller-coaster that is the aftermath of this. People in the amnesiac's life also should talk with someone, so they can get a clearer (less emotional) picture of what they're really facing, and how in-fact to best face these challenges.

I am definitely NOT a health-care or mental-health professional, and even if I were, I cannot definitively tell anyone, anything, about what they're going through, or how to fix it - because each and every experience is uniquely different on so many levels. I CAN however give you advice through sharing what me and my family and friends are going through with my own amnesia.

DO seek outside help.
DO talk about things (especially the uncomfortably awkward stuff.)
DO keep your minds and hearts OPEN... (you don't know how to tackle something new, unless you in fact Face something New, head-on, with kindness and gentle self-control... otherwise, you're going to make things worse by 'expecting,' 'assuming,' or any other form of expectation. Those will let you down, and the person you're pushing them onto... don't do that.)

DON'T expect anything specific or mundane (you will be disappoint-ed/ing.)
DON'T push, coheres, or force the amnesiac (you will Not be helpful - a kind and gentle guiding of a person is fine and good, but do not be pushy.)
DON'T give up on your loved-one, just because they're not "progressing" as quickly as you'd like for them to. (Every case, every injury, and every individual, experiences different and varying layers of effects due to amnesia. It's not fair to assume you know the intricacies of the human-brain, and how quickly or effectively it should heal/recover.) :)