Thursday, July 31, 2014

A bit of rant and explination

Some idiots believe that Amnesia makes someone dumb.


No, it's idiots who believe that a brain injury that causes memories to be erased somehow correlates with being less intelligent that make me believe someone is "dumb". 

Actually, the truth is - seeing everything with un-biased vision and clarity gives me a distinct advantage over most other people.

I see things for what they are, not how I have convinced myself over years and years of environmental conditioning to see things.

I don't attach emotions to subjects, events, or people...not in the ways I would if my memories were in-tact... which means I can see it all for what/how/and who they really are.

Don't underestimate the power of clear perception. You'd be surprised how very well I am aware. You'd be surprised how I keep track of everything and everyone, and all of the intricate details.

Don't 'look down' on people with amnesia, we have some very huge advantages that many other people may Never get to experience or even comprehend. (No, we're not "better than" anything or anyone... but we're definitely NOT "less than".)
I DO care about those I choose to care about - the rest of humanity has my empathy - not apathy. I just wanted to be clear on that. I'm not some sort of sociopath that doesn't feel. No, I'm quite the opposite. I feel a LOT for people I don't know & situations that make my heart quake. 

That doesn't mean that I can attach old memory-caused emotions to someone currently. That's impossible for me to do. SO - yes, while amnesia causes memories to be erased, I can still feel for people - I just make a distinction between what I feel now about someone rather than what they expect of me according to whatever past we've shared. 

There's a big difference - I'm not sure if I'm explaining it clearly - I'm sure I'm not. 
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I'll put it this way - I cannot feel something about someone the same way currently as I would if my memories about them were still accessible. I may look at someone who had been a close friend before amnesia, and not feel the deep connection we may have had prior to my TBI. I may meet a perfect stranger and become fast friends, and feel for them the ways I may have felt for an actual old-friend. See? Make any sense at all?

I'm trying to describe something that almost nobody I know is experiencing, in ways that would make sense to someone who doesn't have amnesia, which I do have.... it's like a monkey trying to speak plant, to a plant that's never been a monkey - and that monkey's never been a plant. It's hard to see both sides clearly enough to explain things properly. 

In all honesty, I'm still often surprised when people react to certain things with (or without) emotional attachments. It astounds me the things that people truly attach feelings to - things that I don't comprehend the real reasoning for - and there's things that I'm thoroughly surprised people Do Not attach feelings to. But, we are all different, we've all experienced this world in so many varying ways and degrees.. I'm not judging others for that - no way.

I'm not perfect, I cannot see EVERYTHING perfectly, but I do see a very clear difference between my perception of how things are, how things have happened, & how things look/seem, compared to people who literally cannot see things the way I do. That's perfectly fine, until I'm called out as "less than" someone else, or "less intelligent" because of amnesia. I have to clarify - it is NOT okay to assume that memory is directly correlated to intelligence, or vise-versa. 

There are certain things about all of this brain stuff, that just may never make any sense to anyone. 

That doesn't give anyone the right or the reason to attack someone's mental-abilities. If someone had diabetes, I wouldn't assume that their taste pallet was inferior to someone without diabetes. I wouldn't assume that someone allergic to cats does not have the capacity to love animals.

There are certain aspects of our perceptions that dictate how we make decisions, while other aspects determine how we emotionally react or physically react, but memories are only a small portion of the overall ways in which our brains interpret information. Some people use Mainly memories to base their assessments and judgement about whatever this's or that's... but those of us who don't have that choice find other means of discernment. 


Let's say I used to know someone - & that someone committed a crime. I wouldn't associate that person with whatever I used to know about them, because I no longer know whatever I used to know about them. I will associate them for being a criminal. ---- And, I truly hope this clears any confusion up about my previous statement.

~*~ Until next blog ~*~